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Anger Management Anger is a completely normal and usually healthy human emotion. However, if it gets out of control and its expression is accompanied by violent behavior, it can be viewed by society as an immature or uncivilized emotional response. Frequently occurred episodes of feeling angry and acting out of anger can lead a person to serious problems at work, in personal relationships, and in the overall life’s quality. It even can affect physical well being, causing headaches, high blood pressure, sleep problems, nightmares, ulcers, etc. Those physical changes can happen due to physiological and biological changes accompanied human’s emotional responses, like releasing stress hormone – cortisol, or “energy” nerve messengers, like adrenaline and norepinephrine. Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. It is possible to be angry at a specific person (such as a coworker, supervisor or a significant other), or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight, etc.). Sometimes anger can be caused by excessive worrying about personal problems and anxiety. Recollections of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings. Very often depression is underlying anger. Expressing Anger A certain “healthy” amount of anger is necessary for our survival, because it allows us to fight and defend ourselves. So it can be considered as an adaptive response. However, the “appropriate” level of anger is limited by social norms, laws and by common sense, and as a result we are not lashing out on every person or event. Instead, we usually use a variety of conscious and unconscious techniques to deal with angry feelings we experience. There are three main approaches in dealing with anger. Expressing angry feelings in an assertive manner is the healthiest way to address your anger. To do so, you have to recognize your own needs and, at the same time, realize how to get them met without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others. Suppressing Anger Some people tend to suppress anger. In this way anger is covered up or redirected to another object. It happens when the anger is being held in, or angry thoughts stopped, while the person’s focus directed on something positive. The goal of that behavior is to inhibit or suppress anger and change it into some constructive feelings. The danger of such kind of response is that if it isn't allowed outward expression, anger can turn inward. Anger turned inward may cause a lot of physical trouble to the human being: hypertension, gastric ulcers, heart attacks, high cholesterol levels, strokes, or depression. Unexpressed anger can create a lot of additional problems to a person and his/her relatives. The unexpressed anger can manifest in passive-aggressive behavior - pathological expression of anger, such as getting back at people indirectly, without telling them about the reason, rather than confronting them head-on. The suppressed anger, on the other way, may produce a personality that seems to be cynical and hostile. Such people are constantly putting others down, criticizing everybody and everything, making cynical comments. Those people haven't learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they are less likely to build up successful relationships. Calming down inside This means not only controlling own outward behavior, but also controlling internal responses, such as taking steps to low your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside. Psychologists dealing with anger management believe that in the situations when none of these three techniques work, someone or something is going to get hurt.
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